Once again, a change in plans
Three weeks ago I decided to cut the season short and finish it off with the world championship. I wish I could finish it better than how I started it, I wish I could say I had a great time competing, and I wish I could say this year has been fun. It hasn’t been easy, but I have learned a lot about training and about my self, which is equally important. But the most important part about doing what I do is having fun and be passionate, because that makes you push harder every day. And being injured prevented me from that.
Ever since I broke my ankle in January, I haven’t been able to climb like I want to and push my self to get stronger and better. Because no matter what I did – bouldering, circuits or lead climbing – there was always a movement I couldn’t do, and that, mentally, is really hard because you can never give 100 %. It does something to you’re style of climbing and it does something to your attitude.
When I injuried my self and realized it was serious, I decided I wanted to go all in and try my best to get better and to be in a good shape for the comps. Because I knew that if I didn’t do my best I could during the preperation, I wouldn’t be having fun while competing. And I am happy I did that, I would do it again, but the fact is that it wasn’t good enough. Admitting this is hard, because technically you admit that the work you’ve done isn’t good enough. All the time and energy you’ve spent training was not good enough. I guess being injured is a valid reason, but it doesn’t really make it any easier. I’ve had very limited ways to train these last 8 months because there was so much I couldn’t do – not push too hard, don’t do movements that are painful, don’t fall uncontrolled while bouldering, don’t climb technical stuff, not too steep, not too vertical, definitely not slabs, don’t run, don’t walk too much. Blablabla. Really, all I could do was hard single moves on a slightly overhanging wall and campus. And, in the beginning this was fun, because it was a great way to get stronger, but after a while I got sick and tired of it. All I wanted to do was to do the things I couldn’t do. I tried to be good at being injured and I tried to do my best so I could be in shape for the summer, and I tried to find new ways to train. I tried really hard to do the best out of the situation and use it to my advantage, but being injured and giving 100% just don’t go hand-in-hand for me. I need a healthy body to be able to push my self and to be able to give 100%.
I know that I’ve gotten stronger at the campus board and on one single moves, and in the long run I will gain a lot from this, but for now there are so many aspects of climbing that I’m missing out on and I have a lot of work in front of me, both physically and mentally.
So for this fall, I have decided that my main focus will be to heal up my ankle and do things that are fun, not that I don’t like training, but as I said, it hasn’t been much fun not being able to do the things I wanted to. I will try to combine rock-climbing with my training and start the preparations for next year some time very soon, depending on the ankle of course. I am also back in school, and it’s nice to have something other than climbing to take up some time, especially in a time like this 🙂